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Office of the Lost

Chaos and Order Book 1

Office of the Lost - J. Scott Coatsworth & Kim Fielding
Part of the Chaos and Order series:
  • Office of the Lost
Editions:ePub, Hardcover, Kindle, Paperback, PDF

When Perfection Collides With Chaos, Sparks Fly

Crispin Eladrin, desk fae at the Office of the Lost, could find a needle in ten haystacks. His desk is so neat it would make an accountant blush, and he's never failed to complete a recovery mission. He has no idea how adorable he is, especially when he's at his most annoyingly officious.

Enter utterly chaotic Leopold Lane. His life is a masterclass in disastrous events--and it's about to get worse. He's the latest thing that Crispin has been sent to retrieve, but when they meet, sparks fly. Literally. And now they must find their way back before someone—or something—enchants them, eats them, or stomps them to death.

Neither knows why the Office of the Lost is so hell-bent on acquiring Leo, but they're determined to survive long enough to find out--and to see if opposites really do attract.

Excerpt:
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Romance is a Drag Anthology

A Queer Own Voices Anthology

A queer Anthology that embraces the romantic life and happy ever afters of drag queens navigating the LGBT landscape. All stories are written by Own Voice gay authors! From small towns to big cities, drag queens are the heart of the gayborhoods they belong to. Stories by Shane K Morton, Blake Allwood, Jole Cannon, Kelvin Young, J. Scott Coatsworth, Kristian Parker, Brent Archer and M.D. Neu.

My own story, Miz Fortune's Lonely Hearts Salon, is a later-in-life romance set in my River City World (Miz Fortune also appears my the Down the River serial). Like all the River City stories, this one has a bit of magical realism.

Excerpt:

Miz Fortune’s Lonely Hearts Salon

Chester Carlson hit send on the email to the IRS, completing the last task of his day.

Simple, easy, predictable. That’s how he liked it, and work these days hardly ever disappointed. He’d long since exhausted his idealistic youth, having moved on from wanting to make a difference in the world of finance to hoping to save his clients a few dollars on their taxes, then leaving when the clock struck five.

Which was precisely the time it was now.

He closed the laptop case, taking care not to pinch his fingers, as the hinges which used to ease it shut had long since given up the ghost and all too often would allow the screen to come crashing down.

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“Heading out?” Monica peeked into his office, her friendly smile brightening his day, as unrelentingly gray as most of the rest of his life.

“Yes. Just wrapped up the thorny affair with the tax man for the Bunker-Flints.” The retired couple had found themselves in a situation, after the agency had declared one of them dead out of the blue. It had taken two months to unravel the mess that had caused.

She shook her head, her beaded locks clinking. “Had one of those last year. Took ten forms of ID, seventeen weeks, and the intervention of Congressman Carty to get the client resurrected.”

Chester sighed. “Didn’t this job use to be easier?” Now the only thing he looked forward to was Miz Fortune on Friday nights.

“You’re telling me.” Monica rolled her eyes. “They say we’re in the midst of a great retirement… a lot of the old guard accountants just hanging it up and slipping away into the night.”

He snorted. “I wish some of my clients would follow them. Everyone wants to pay less for more.”

Her eyes twinkled. “Preachin’ to the choir. Hey, Max and I are going out for drinks at the Torch Club. Wanna tag along?”

He was tempted, but he had other business to attend to. “Wish I could, but my sister is in town,” he lied.

“Mariam? Say hi to her for me. And Ches…?”

“Yeah?”

“Take care of yourself. Things are going to change soon.” She wrinkled her nose. “Get better, I mean. I can feel it.” Then she was gone.

He sank back into his chair, hands at the back of his neck. Get better? Not likely. He was a fifty-six-year-old gay accountant in a dead-end job, alone for almost a decade since Andrew had passed. This was as good as it was likely to get. At least I still have my health, as they say.

He peeked at his reflection in the glass on the picture he and Andy had taken at City Hall down in San Francisco, when they had gotten married in 2008, and then straightened his red bowtie. Then he grabbed his brown leather briefcase and left the office.

###

Two hours later, after a peanut-butter and tuna sandwich and a quick shower, he found himself clambering down the old cement stairs on the side of a Victorian building in Mansion Flats, half a mile from his own house.

He glanced at his phone. Seven PM. He had about an hour to get ready.

He unlocked the basic wooden door—painted red for luck—with a key that looked like it dated back to Victorian age as well. A flick of the switch, and the room lit up with a golden glow which would have befitted the era’s gas lanterns, though it was achieved entirely through electrical means.

He locked the door behind him—it wasn’t a particularly dangerous neighborhood, but you could never be too safe—and set down his duffel bag on the round, gilded table which dominated the room. He looked around in satisfaction.

The whole place practically glittered in gold and red hues, from the heavily beaded scarlet curtains with golden tassels that decorated every wall to one of two Tiffany lamps with gold trim and small, fake ruby dangles.

There were three chairs. His was as large as a throne and nearly as gaudy, covered in gold leaf with burgundy velour cushions. The table featured a crystal ball—an Amazon special—and a neatly stacked Art Nouveau tarot card deck he’d found at a yard sale. All above a hand-woven rug that had always reminded him of the Eye of Sauron.

The room divider along the back wall was a shoji screen, stained red, that he’d picked up at an old antique store on the edge of town.

He grinned. This was her place, and it was exactly the way she wanted it.

He set about unpacking his things: a long, flowing red dress trimmed with golden embroidery—if he sat still enough in his little salon, would it render him invisible to the casual glance?

His red wig, full of lustrous curls that would have looked extravagant on anyone.

And his makeup kit.

He moved the divider aside to reveal a small desk and mirror with the second Tiffany lamp, twin to the first. This was where he would transform himself for the evening. He put each of his things in its place on the narrow pressboard desk—sturdy and efficient but out of place amongst the glamor that surrounded it—and flicked on the lamp.

After stripping down to his underwear, he pulled on a chest plate and the red dress—no need for tucking in this particular environment, and besides, the dress would forgive a multitude of sins. Then he sat in the folding chair, which squeaked in protest, and trimmed his eyebrows.

After this fine-tuning, foundation went on next, thick enough to mask some of the wrinkles that insisted on creeping onto his face with every additional year he passed under the harsh Sacramento sun. That was followed by a bit of contouring to make his face slightly less… manly, and then some fine powder makeup, which always made him sneeze.

He knew he’d never achieve Meryl Streep, but he hoped to at least approximate Bette Midler, or perhaps Endorain her prime.

As the layers went on, Chester slowly slid into the background, taking along with him the constant parade of numbers and figures that danced through his head. Forgotten were the Bunker-Flints and their IRS kerfuffle.

Miz Fortune slowly emerged, all chiffon and lace and woman-of-mystery, a matchmaker who held the cards of fate in her hands. Literally.

This was his favorite part of the night, when he shed his timid accountant personality to be someone strong and in control, something like the man he’d been before, with Andrew. Confident. Certain. Spontaneous.

He sighed, closing his eyes with their false eyelashes and clutching his tube of slut-red lipstick in his sweaty hands. If only you could see me now, babe.

His strange visions had started after Andrew’s death. Little flashes over other people’s heads that made him think—at first—that he was having a stroke.

Put on the lipstick with practiced ease, puckering his lips to spread it evenly.

At first, he’d thought he was losing his mind—the result of the twin stresses of a job he hated and a life that had suddenly gone empty of all color and meaning.

Slip on the wig and fasten it into place, then drape the curls around to frame his face in the most flattering way possible.

Then he’d seen one of his visions come true—Max from work had met the girl of his dreams, and when Chester met her, her face sent chills down his spine. He’d seen that visage dancing over Max’s head a month before.

Acrylic nails, blood-red, pressed against each of his own, rounded and sharp, like talons.

It was a sign. Maybe from Andrew himself. He, Chester Carlson, was meant to help others in ways that went far beyond taxes and accounting.

A ruby-red ring and some brass bangles on his right arm to complete the effect.

He sat back to admire the results of his labors, spreading his fingers and waving his hand in the air to admire the glitter of jewelry. He’d created Faye as a way to escape the pain, and she had taken on a life of her own. Her lips spread wide in thrilled anticipation.

 “Miz Fortune has arrived.”

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Reviews:Ulysses on Queer Romance Ink wrote:

"Drag is not my primary reading target, but as a gay elder I have the deepest respect for its place in our shared LGBTQ+ culture. I knew that an assemblage of drag-themed stories from the editorial desk of Scott Coatsworth would be richly diverse and emotionally satisfying.  And so it is. Each story very much reflects the narrative style of its author, and the biggest revelation of this anthology is the surprising narrative range that the theme of drag performance can encompass. 5 stars."


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The Death Bringer

Tharassas Cycle Book 4

Aik will never be the same … and neither will his world.

War is coming. Aik has become the Progenitor, and the Seed Mother has released him to transform the world for her alien brood. Silya and Raven, Aik's former friends, are the only ones who can save him and the world. But what if the cure is worse than the invasion?

As Silya rushes to prepare Gullton for the battle to come, she's determined to save as many people as she can. But new crises emerge that demand her attention.

Raven has his own hands full, keeping the dragon-like verent in line, while helping Silya to save the world. But what if the only way to do so is to sacrifice Aik, the man that he loves?

It's the end of the world … or could it be the start of something new?

Excerpt:
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Flawless

Space is such a drag...

In Space, No One Can Hear You Sing …

Grayson Eck's life is a drag, in all the best possible ways. He's perfectly happy working in the belt alone as a wildcatter, prospecting asteroids by … well, not exactly by day.

At night, he transforms into the Inner System's most famous Valeriana Storm — a secret identity that even his closest friends and family don't know about.

When someone tries to steal one of Greyson's mining scores, he has half a mind to just toss the guy off his rock and into open space. But that all changes when he discovers the stranger's identity — and that he knows Greyson's secret.

Now he's being chased by a pirate, and has to decide what to do with the apparent thief while also putting on his show.

What's a space drag queen to do?

Excerpt:
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The Hencha Queen

Tharassas Cycle Book 3

SILYA FINALLY COMES INTO HER OWN, BUT WILL SHE BE ENOUGH?

Silya finally has everything she always wanted: She's the Hencha Queen, head of the Temple, and is mastering her newfound talents. So why does the world pick now to fall apart?

Her once-nemesis Raven is off riding dragons, and their mutual friend (and her ex) Aik is nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, a new threat menaces the Heartland from the East. If she can't convince a reluctant city council to prepare for the worst, she may lose everything—and everyone—she's ever cared about.

As Silya wields her abilities, dry wit, and sheer determination to save her city, she's joined by Raven and his new friends, just as a dark storm threatens to sweep them all away. Will their aid help tip the scales? And will she and Raven finally find out what happened to Aik?

Forget messy. Things just got apocalyptic.

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Love & Limitations

Love & Limitations is Scott's fourth short story collection and first one featuring contemporary MM and LGBTQ+ stories:

I Only Want to Be With You: Derrek likes Ryan. Ryan likes Alex. Alex treats Ryan like trash. So why can't he see who really loves him?

The Boy in the Band: It's hard for a trans kid in high school, just like it was for a gay kid two decades before. Can Ryan and Justin find common ground in time?

Translation: Dominic has a thing for Italian guys, especially his boss, Dante. His roommate Enrico has a thing for him. No matter how this ends, someone is going to get hurt.

Slow Thaw: As the Antarctic warms, so does the chilly relationship between scientist Javier Fernandez and new arrival-and trans man-Col Steele as they contend with a disaster on the ice.

Ten: After the death of his husband, Chris faces a gay mid-life crisis-at thirty-five-as he jumps back into the dating scene for ten dates in ten days.
This is the first time all of these stories have all been collected in one place, and the first publication of the The Boy in the Band in any form.

Excerpt:
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The Gauntlet Runner

Liminal Sky: Tharassas Cycle Book 2

A guard and a thief. What could go wrong?

Aik has fallen hopelessly in love with his best friend. But Raven's a thief, which makes things … complicated. Oh, and Raven has just been kidnapped by a dragon.

Now Aik is off on a quest of his own, to hunt down the foul beast and make them give back his … friend? Lover? Soulmate? The whole not-knowing thing just makes everything harder.

Meanwhile, the world of Tharassas is falling apart, besieged by earthquakes, floods, and strange creatures no one has ever seen before. Aik's ex, Silya has gone back to Gullton to try to save her people as the Hencha Queen, and Aik's stuck in a caravan with her mother and a damnable magical gauntlet that won't let him be. He has to find Raven, before it’s too late.

Things were messy before … but now they're much, much worse.

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Transform the World

14 Si-Fi Writers Change the Planet

"Today I swam through MOMA. Leon says it was a waste, encasing the art, then flooding the museum—frivolous and elitist. I say it was a gesture of optimism, a triumph of technology and political will."

Want to thrill to the possibilities of a hopeful future? We asked a bunch of sci-fi writers to spin tales of a better future, imagining ways in which the world might become a better place.

From a swim through an underwater museum to a joyous dance at a futuristic concert, from the eco-friendly aftermath of an alien invasion and retreat to the refurbishing of an old climate-ravaged home in New Vancouver, these fourteen short sci-fi stories will to restore your faith in the future.

A world transformed is a world we can all hope for.

Book three in the Writers Save the World short story anthologies. If you enjoy this book, check out Fix the World and Save the World.

Excerpt:
Reviews:D. Donovan on Midwest Book Review wrote:

“A satisfyingly diverse set of visions of the future that come from a single question: how could the world work better?... Libraries and readers looking for especially diverse, thought-provoking sci-fi forays into not only what works, but why, will find Transform the World a potent gathering of forces that juxtapose tales of hope, social inspection, and a feeling of peaceful opportunity into the sci-fi short story world.”


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Tales From Tharassas

Tharassas Cycle Book 0

These three tales tell the story of Tharassas before the Tharassas Cycle, including the origin of the hencha queens, the ce’faine, and the colonization of the Highlands, essential companions for the four novels that make up the cycle:

The Fallen Angel

Charlie Fah, Cha’Fah to most of the world, has never fit in with the other citizens of Gully Town, thanks to his darker skin that sets him apart. But one day, an Angel arrives on a supply run from Earth, and what happens next sets Charlie on a new path that will turn his life upside down.

The Last Run

Sera is the last runner from Earth, bringing badly needed supplies to the Tharassas Colony across a twenty-five year gulf between the planets. Jas works on a hencha farm to make ends meet, harvesting berries from the semi-sentient plants. Neither one that knows their lives—and worlds—are about to change forever.

The Emp Test

Jey awakens to find himself in the care of a handsome stranger—a cheff from one of the mountain tribes. Afraid for his life, Jey has no choice but to let the man take care of him and his broken leg. Avain is on his Aud'ling—the coming-of-age test that requires him to spend a couple months away from his own people. The two of them will have to come to an understanding if they're going to help one another.

The Last Run and The Emp Test have been published before in previous stand-alone editions, but The Fallen Angel is a new story written exclusively for this collection.

Excerpt:

“Grappa, tell me a story.”

I sit back and stare at little Ellya, looking up at me from my lap—all of six years old, and beautiful, her skin the color of the wet earth down by the river. Lighter than mine, but her hair is kinky too, a throwback to one of our ancestors. Probably an Angel.

Wind whips the heavy cloth of the tent. Outside, a summer storm lashes the mountain valley where we make our home in the warmer months. Their parents are likely happy for the break from all those inquisitive minds.

Inside it’s warm and comfortable, and all the children of the village have gathered here for story time, seated on the woven purple rug that takes up a good part of the tent.

Ioyo, my grandson, sits in the front row, next to his best friend Onley, watching me eagerly.

I kiss Ellya on the forehead, feeling her eagerness through the emp nestled in its pouch on my neck. “What would you like to hear?”

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I have many stories from my life of almost seventy years—more than fifty of them spent here in the mountains, taking care of my little flock. In that time, the ce’faine have grown to almost five hundred, living a nomadic life spanning three generations. They are my family in the truest sense, my proudest accomplishment.

She reaches up to touch my cheek, her little fingers warm against my skin. “Tell me about the Long Trek.”

I close my eyes, a mixture of pain and pride filling me. Such a long time ago, but I still dream about it often, that rough passage that brought us out of Egypt and into the holy land.

I laugh at my own erudition. None of the children here have even the slightest idea what Egypt was. What Earth was.

In our great wisdom, or perhaps our obstinate stubbornness, we decided to make a clean break with the old culture of the Heartland, discarding everything we've been taught and beginning fresh.

I rub my wrinkled chin. “Let's see. It was a very long time ago. You weren’t even a wisp in your mother's eye.” I look at her—my granddaughter—so perfect in every way. I don't want the world to change her. I don't want her to face the ugliness that I did, growing up in a repressive culture. I want to shelter her from all of that.

Of course, none of us can protect our children from the beauty and peril that life brings.

I stretch out my hands, cracking my old knuckles—a bad habit, that. I take a sip of the herbal tea Merwyn, Ellya’s mother, made for me, measuring my time. It’s a poor substitute for akka, one of my only regrets about leaving the Heartland.

So many years passed. So few left to me. I must teach them while I can, this new generation.

I clear my throat, and the chatter of little voices silences. “Once upon a time, I lived in a wicked place, a cruel city by the sea called Gully Town. There were five islands, like five long fingers—we called them spines. And beyond, only a few small villages and many farms.” I close my eyes, remembering that dark time. “They called me Charlie back then. Or Cha’Fah…”

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The Dragon Eater

Tharassas Cycle Book 1

Raven's a thief who just swallowed a dragon. A small one, sure, but now his arms are growing scales, the local wildlife is acting up, and his snarky AI familiar is no help whatsoever.

Raven's best friend Aik is a guardsman carrying a torch for the thief. A pickpocket and a guard? Never going to happen. And Aik’s ex-fiancé Silya, an initiate priestess in a magical crisis, hates Raven with the heat of a thousand suns.

This unlikely team must work together to face strange beasts, alien artifacts, and a world-altering threat. If they don’t figure out what to do soon, it might just be the end of everything.

Things are about to get messy.

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Excerpt:

Spin’s voice echoed in his ear. “This is a bad idea, boss.”

“Shush,” Raven whispered to his familiar.

He needed to concentrate. Cheek and jowl against the smooth cobblestones, he held his breath and prayed to the gods that no one had seen him duck under the sea master’s ornate carriage. The setting sun cast long shadows from a pair of boots so close to his face that the dust and leather made him want to sneeze. Their owner was deep in conversation with the sea master, the hem of her fine mur silk trousers barely visible. The two women’s voices were hushed, and he could only make out the occasional word.

Raven rubbed the old burn scar on his cheek absently, wishing they would go away.

“Seriously, boss. I’m not from this world, and even I know it’s a bad idea to steal from the sea master.”

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Though only he could hear Spin’s voice, Raven wished the little silver ay-eye would just shut up.

The hencha cloth-wrapped package in the carriage above was calling to him. He’d wanted it since he’d first seen it through the open door. No, needed it. Like he needed air, even though he had no idea what was inside. He scratched the back of his hand hard to distract himself from its disturbing pull.

An inthym popped its head out of the sewer grate in front of him, sniffing the air. Raven glared at the little white rodent, willing it to go away. Instead, the cursed thing nibbled at his nose.

Raven sneezed, then covered his mouth. He held his breath, staring at the boots. Don’t let them hear me.

A shiny silver feeler poked out of his shirt pocket, emitting a golden glow that illuminated the cobblestones underneath him. “Boss, you all right?” Spin’s whisper had that sarcastic edge he often used when he was annoyed. “Your heart rate is elevated.”

“Be. Quiet.” Raven gritted his teeth. Spin had the worst sense of timing.

The woman — one of the guard, maybe? — and the sea master stepped away, their voices fading into the distance.

Raven said a quick prayer of thanks to Jor’Oss, the goddess of wild luck, and flicked the inthym back into the sewer. “Shoo!”

He popped his head out from under the carriage to take a quick look around. There was no one between him and the squat gray Sea Guild headquarters. It was time. Grab it and go.

He reached into the luxurious carriage — a host of mur beetles must have spent years spinning all the red silk that lined the interior — and snagged the package. He hoped it was the treasury payment for the week. If so, it should hold enough coin to feed an orphanage for a month, and he knew just the one. “Got it.”

“Good. Now get us out of here.”

A strange tingling surged through his hand. Raven frowned.

Must have pinched a nerve or something.

Ignoring it, he stuck the package under his arm, slipped around the carriage, and set off down Gullton’s main thoroughfare. He walked as casually as he could, hoping no one would notice the missing package until he was long gone.

“We clear?”

Spin’s feeler blinked red. “No. Run! They’ve seen you.”

Raven ran.

He didn’t know how his strange little friend did it, but he trusted Spin. When his familiar’s far vision worked, he was almost always right.

“Stop the thief!” A guard's voice echoed down Grindell Lane between the shops that loomed over Raven like jagged teeth in the dimming light. Passersby turned to stare, but no one intervened.

“Holy green hell, what’s in this thing?” Raven clung to the package, his patched-up boots thudding down the cobblestone street. He said a brief prayer of thanks to El’Oss, the Old God, that Spin’s special powers were working.

He shot a glance over his shoulder at the pursuing guardsmen. A miasma of fog mixed with smoke lay thick across the city streets, lighting the sunset in the green sky behind him gloriously in red and gold.

You're daft as a gully bird, Rav'Orn. Stealing a package from the sea master's carriage in broad daylight? Seriously? If the Thieves’ Guild found out, they’d be after him again for stirring up trouble.

Still, he hadn’t expected three guardsmen to come after him. What in Heaven’s Reach did I steal, the Hencha Queen’s jewels?

A woman lay slumped in the doorway of a closed tailor’s shop ahead, The Knotted Purse, wrapped in a familiar blanket. Raven skidded to a halt. “Where are they?”

“About a block away. You’re not as slow as usual today.” Coming from Spin, that was almost a compliment.

“Thanks.” Raven ignored his companion’s snarky tone. He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a single silver croner and dropped it into the roofless woman’s hand, ignoring her unwashed smell. Not everyone had a bathtub or a river to bathe in, after all. “Get yourself something hot to eat, Scilla.” He kissed her cheek.

Scill'Eya's eyes lit up, and a smile cracked her weathered face. A single tear ran down her dirty cheek, revealing the ruddy skin underneath, and she nodded. “Nor’Oss bless you, Rav’Orn.”

Spin’s voice chimed urgently in his ear. “Let’s move it. They’re hot on your tail, boss.”

But Raven was already off and running again, barreling down the street.

He glanced over his shoulder in time to see the roofless woman stumble to her feet and careen “accidentally” into the path of one of the guards, knocking him to the ground.

Bless you too, Scilla.

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