Usually I use this space to talk about all things authorly, but today I thought I’d go a little more personal. I am deeply weird, in case you haven’t figured that out yet.
So here are ten things about me you may not know.
- I Don’t Like Coffee. Yeah, I know. I am that one guy in the whole world who doesn’t drink the stuff (except for once in a while in frappucino form, with lots of mint and java chips and sugar to hide the taste). OTOH, drop me into a bookstore where there’s the mixed smell of coffee and books, and I’m in heaven.
- Smart Like a Fox. When I was in kindergarten, the teacher gave me a paper to take home to my parents. I got on the bus and pretended to read it. A teacher saw me, thought I was super smart, and sent me to be tested. I ended up in the Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program, and it swelled my ego forever.
- I Was a Weird Child Eater. No, I didn’t eat children, weird or otherwise. But I hated hamburgers and ketchup and all vegetables except corn. At McDonalds, I would only eat fish sandwiches with mayonaise. I must have been such a pain in the ass for my mother to feed.
- I Was a Precocious Reader. I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy in third grade, and was reading at a twelfth grade level at the time. By sixth grade I had finished off most of my mom’s sci fi and fantasy bookshelves.
- I Am Isaac Asimov’s Grandson. No, not really. Just checking to see if you were still reading.
- My Grandfather Was a Pioneer. Well, both of them were, actually. My mom’s dad was a chemist who helped invent Silly Putty, among other things, and my dad’s dad opened the country’s first drive-in church, complete with window speakers.
- I Once Lost Ten Thousand Dollars. Well, kinda. There was this song snippet contest where a local radio station played ten bits of Christmas songs, and you had to guess them all, title and artist. I called in and got through, and got nine out of ten. But the tenth was “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” a song I had never heard, and so I lost. So I didn’t get the money. And I have loathed that song ever since.
- My First Name is Jonathan. My father’s side had a tradition going back six generations. The first born sons were named either William or John, alternating generations. My father was William, but my mom didn’t get along with my dad’s dad, so they compromised and named me Jonathan, but called me by my middle name, Scott. Hence the J. Scott pretentious author name thing.
- I have a Tail. Not really. Just checking.
- My First French Kiss. It was when I was in fourth grade, at the school bus stop, and it was on a dare with Sherrie Breckon (hope I spelled that right) who had a back brace at the time, and was a lovely and sweet person. But alas, she was not a boy.
That’s it – now you know some of my shallowest, brightest secrets.
Tell me one of yours?