Serial: Down the River – Chapter Fifty-Seven

I’m finally revisiting the characters from The River City Chronicles nine years after their original timeline. I’ll be running the series weekly here on my blog, and then will release it in book form at the end of the run. Hope you enjoy catching up with all your faves and all their new secrets!

Today, Sam meets with his foster son and bumps up against some uncomfortable truths about his feelings…

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Chapter Fifty-Seven
Do You Know What You Want?

It was a beautiful Monday morning on the patio at Orphan, the retro-funky-chic café Carmelina had told Sam about in her last email. It was crowded, the pleasant murmur of the gathered diners a balm for Sam’s soul.

She was on her way home after a whirlwind weekend in Italy. He couldn’t wait for her to return, but had rather enjoyed having her house all to himself with Oscar, complete with the pool in the back. They’d even gone skinny-dipping at midnight the night before—it was fun to pretend he was eighteen again.

He did manage a quick glimpse of Oscars private parts, and the man had nothing to be ashamed about. Still, there’d been no inappropriate behavior between them. And he wasn’t convinced that there ever should be. His heart still ached for Brad. Maybe I’d be better off alone.

“Sam?”

He looked up to find Ricky—his hair still stubbornly pink—grinning at him like an idiot. “You made it!” He jumped up and squeezed his former foster kid tightly. “You brought Alyn too. Good!”

Ricky nodded. “I’m so glad you found time for us. I wanted to see you before you went back to Tucson. You were so busy at the scattering…”

Sam felt a twinge of pain at the memory of that day. It had been beautiful, but letting go of Brad… Truth be told, he wasn’t looking forward to returning to the place he and Brad had called home, either. Too many memories.“Take a seat. This is my first time here. Have you guys tried it before?”

“No, we both live out in the suburbs and work in Midtown. We don’t get out to East Sac very much.” Ricky looked around. “It’s really cute.” He paged through the menu.

“Carmelina said it’s one of her favorite places.” It was growing on Sam too.

“Oh, is she back?” Ricky handed one of the extra menus to Alyn.

“Not yet. She gets back tonight.” Sam put his own down. “I think I’m gonna have the yogurt, fruit, and granola thing. I’m trying to eat a little better these days.” He patted his stomach. Brad used to tease him about letting himself go… Wish you were still here to give me a hard time.

Ricky gave him a once over. “Well, I think you look great.” He glanced at Alan. “Wanna split the breakfast burrito?”

“Sure.” He handed the menu back to Ricky. “We usually share to cut down on costs, and they serve so much food at most of these places. Prices are through the roof.”

“That’s smart. But this will be my treat.” He could afford it. His books were doing well, they had built up a bit of a nest egg, and Brad had always been a planner, right down to his own life insurance.

“Thanks, Sam!” He glanced at Alyn. “Maybe the breakfast burrito and a side of rosemary potatoes?”

Alyn nodded enthusiastically. “And some fresh-squeezed orange juice?”

They both turned to look at Sam hopefully.

“Of course. You drive a hard bargain.” Sam watched them both together. They looked happy. They had that guys in love energy about them, that synergy that long term couples often had. “How long have you two been together?” He hadn’t kept in touch with Ricky as well as he should have.

“About five months.” Alyn took Ricky’s hand. “We met just before Christmas.”

Sam stared at them. “That’s all? You seem like you’ve been a couple for much longer.”

Ricky nodded. “I know, right? We both knew it was what we wanted, almost right away. It was… magic.” They shared a quick, furtive glance.

Sam grinned. There was more of the story, that much was clear. Ricky would tell him in due time. He remembered the little bit of magic that had brought him and Brad together. “It thrills me to see you two so happy. Brad would’ve been too.”

Ricky winced. “I’m so sorry. When I heard… I was devastated. You guys were like parents to me. It must’ve been so hard for you—was it quick, at least?”

Sam swallowed hard. “It was the hardest day of my life. He wasn’t supposed to die. Not so soon. But yeah, it was pretty quick.” Too quick.

He could still see them wheeling Brad’s body away under a white sheet. Even then, Oscar had been at his side, holding his hand.

Ricky looked around. “Where’s Oscar? I thought he was coming?”

“He stayed back at Carmelina’s. Said he had some work to get done this morning. I dragged him away from everything at the last minute, and he’s been really good about supporting me this whole week.” As he said it, he realized how much he’d asked of his friend, and how freely Oscar had given his help, without complaining even once.

The waitress with the short blond hair he’d seen flitting around showed up at their table with a welcoming smile. “Hi there. My name is Erica. Can I get you started with something to drink?”

Sam managed a weak smile in return. “Just water for me.”

“Fresh-squeezed orange juice.” Ricky and Alan said it in unison.

She smiled. “Of course. Coming right up. Are you guys ready to order?”

“Another minute?” Sam hadn’t fully committed to the granola yet.

“You got it.” She stuck her pencil behind her ear and headed on to the next table.

“Alyn?” A cheerful brunette in a bright tie-die shirt stopped next to their table.

“Jackie!” He got up to give her a big hug. “Sam, this is my best friend in the world—well, after Ricky. Jackie, this is Ricky’s foster dad.”

Sam got up and held out his hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

She shook it vigorously. “Nice to meet you, Ricky’s foster dad.” Her eyes twinkled.

Alyn chuckled. “What are you doing down here?”

“I had a medical appointment across the street. Nothing serious.” She waved it away. “I was hungry and saw this place… but it’s packed. Guess I’ll just head home.”

“No, please. Join us.” Alyn glanced ay Sam. “If you don’t mind?”

Sam shrugged. “Of course not. Any friend of Alyn’s a friend of mine.” He’d been enjoying his time with his foster son, but he didn’t want to be rude.

“Oh, that’d be fabulous.” She took the seat next to Sam and glanced quickly through the menu. “I know just what I want.” She set it down and looked around the table. “So what were we talking about?”

“Brad.” Ricky sighed. “He was my other foster father. He passed away last week.”

Jackie looked stricken. She put a hand on Sam’s arm. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I see a lot of that. I work with low-income families and seniors, and I’ve seen a lot of spouses struggling after their husbands or wives passed way.”

Sam closed his eyes. “Brad was just thirty-nine.” Too soon. “I just wish…

She squeezed his hand. “I know, I know. It’s the hardest thing in the world. To lose someone like that. Then to have everyone else expect you to get back to living when the person you thought you’d grow old with is gone.”

Sam nodded. “We had so many plans. Places we wanted to visit, things we wanted to learn together. How do you just let all of that go?” Puerto Vallarta. Edinburgh. Venice. They’d even talked about taking an Italian class together.

Ricky leaned forward. “When I met Alyn, I was living only for my work. I wanted to save all the kids who were living on the street, just like I was when you and Brad took me in. I forgot the most important thing—to live for myself.” He leaned back and took Alyn’s hand. “Then, when we met—it was magic. Like, real magic. He reminded me of all the things I wanted out of life. And I reminded him how beautiful he was.”

Sam shifted uncomfortably. He and Brad had been like that together once. Young, idealistic, and ready to face the world. Only now, Brad had gone and left him all alone.

Alyn grimaced. “You’re not helping.”

But Ricky plowed ahead. “My point is that you and Brad had a beautiful life together, a lovely dream. His dream is over, but yours is not. You have to wake up. He wouldn’t want you to stay sad and alone for the rest of your life. He’d want you to find a new way to be happy. I know he would.”

The earnestness in his voice tugged at Sam’s heart. The kid was so young—what, all of twenty-five or twenty-six? He didn’t know the pain the world could cause you when everything suddenly came crashing down.

Sam knew he was right. Brad wouldn’t want me to be sad. But Brad had left him. He didn’t get a vote in how Sam felt.

Jackie nodded. “Ricky’s a smart kid—he’s been so good for Alyn. You should listen to him. When my husband and I lost our last dog, Priscilla—we called her Prissy—we thought we’d never get another one. But then Petunia came into our lives.” She pulled out her phone and touched the screen, and a little bulldog—it mostly looked like a bulldog—appeared. “There’s life after loss, that’s all I’m saying.”

Despite the fact that she was comparing the death of her dog to the passing of his husband, she wasn’t wrong, either.

Maybe he should consider his options. Brad—or the ghost of Brad—had been clear enough about his own opinions about Oscar.

He likes you, you know.

Oscar had been a good friend to them both for years, and had been there with Sam every day and every step of the way since Brad had passed.

Maybe it was too soon. Of course it’s too soon!

But maybe, just maybe, it was time to at least consider opening his heart to something new.

Their waitress returned. “Sorry to keep you all waiting. I see we have another guest! Welcome.”

Jackie laughed. “Why thank you. I’m so happy to be here.” She mimed a little curtsey.

“And we’re happy to have you.” She didn’t roll her eyes or anything. “Can I get your order? Miss?”

“I haven’t been called that in years. Thank you. I’ll take the fruit and granola.” She handed over her menu.

Erica took a quick note. “Of course.” She turned to the boys. “And you two?”

“We’ll take the breakfast burrito. We’re going to split it. And a side of those rosemary potatoes.” Ricky gathered up their menus.

She scribbled their order down on her pad. He loved the she still used a paper pad. The restaurant also didn’t take anything but cash. It was like stepping back into the previous century. He kind of liked it. “And you, sir? Do you know what you want?”

Sam closed his eyes. Brad was smiling at him.

I just want you to be happy.

Who knew if it would work out? If he was ready? If Oscar even wanted it?

He’d never be sure until he tried.

Sam opened his eyes and nodded. “I do now.”