A few years ago, one of the ministers in the church we were attending at the time brought up a concept called living in the gap. It was postulated by a black Pastor from the South – unfortunately I don’t remember his name at this point. But the idea behind it stuck with me.
It goes like this. There’s a place we are at, and the place we want to be, as individuals, and as a society. We are always trying to bridge the distance from one to the other, but often it’s a project that will take more than our lifetimes. In the meantime, we are living in the gap between what is and what we hope will be.
I’ve been feeling that strongly the last few weeks. If I’m honest, in the last decade or so. But recently it has become more intense, once again.
On the work front, I’m waiting on news for a couple possible jobs. I should have a real shot at both of them, but I have grown accustomed to the fact that things that I think should happen often don’t, especially in the job arena.
On a more personal front, I am dealing with some family issues, and while I won’t go into detail here, it reminds me that the gap there is far greater than I wish it would be.
In my writing career, it’s much the same. While Kim Fielding and I have just finished the second book in the Office of the Lost series (book one is my best selling novel to date), there are so many other things I want to be doing, so many writing projects I want to be finishing, and they always seem to slip farther away.
Living in the gap can be profoundly uncomfortable.
And so we make accommodations with it, and learn to find joy in our current circumstances, even when we don’t always accomplish the things that we wish we could.
We take the steps we can when the path opens up, and when the path is closed, we approach our lives with intentionality, deciding to appreciate what we have, versus what we wish we did.
There’s a lot of life wisdom buried in that old song Love the One You’re With.
I have a beautiful, wonderful husband, who lights up my life and supports me in my writing.
I have a stable housing situation, in a good neighborhood.
I have wonderful friends who would do anything for me.
I have published more books than I ever thought would be possible, even if none of them has ever quite broken through like I hoped it would… another gap, I suppose.
And I have, current issues not withstanding, a great family.
And I’m still young, or young enough. Fifty-eight seems a lot younger than it did when I was thirty. I still have many years to do the things I want and many things to accomplish. To strive to close some of those gaps.
In the meantime, life goes on, and we do our best to really live each and every day in the shade of those walls.